Last updated: 2026-08-01
Is Refusing to Forgive Someone a Sin in Judaism?
Quick Answer
Yes, refusing to forgive someone is considered sin in Judaism.
Author: IsItASin Editorial Team · Last updated: 2026-08-01
Yes, refusing to forgive someone is considered sin in Judaism. Leviticus 19:18 — 'You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself.' This is a sin matter in Judaism with clear guidance for believers.
What Judaism Teaches About Refusing to Forgive Someone
Judaism considers Refusing to Forgive Someone to be a sin — a subject of guidance in the torah / talmudic tradition.
Wondering what other faiths teach?
The fact that you're reading this is a sign.
You cannot return to a path you've never truly studied. Every day you remain distant from Torah is a day the yetzer hara gains ground. This acclaimed 2nd edition is built for a lifetime of study.
What Judaism Teaches About Refusing to Forgive Someone
Judaism legislated the grudge out of existence in remarkable detail. Leviticus 19:18 — 'you shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge' — is defined in the Talmud with two miniature scenes: vengeance is refusing to lend your neighbor a hammer because he refused you his saw; the grudge is lending the hammer while saying, 'unlike you, who refused me.' Both are forbidden; love must be unaccompanied by an audit. Maimonides rules directly: 'It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be appeased... when the offender asks sincerely, the injured party should forgive with a whole heart and a willing spirit' (Hilchot Teshuvah 2:9-10) — cruelty and forgiveness placed on a legal spectrum. The Yom Kippur architecture makes the point structural: the Day atones for sins against God, but 'for sins between a man and his fellow, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow' (Yoma 87a) — the tradition literally schedules the apology season. And the high holidays' liturgy lists God's own slowness to anger and eagerness to forgive as the model: the believer standing in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah asks to be pardoned as he has pardoned — the hardest sentence in the mahzor, and the point of the whole exercise.
Torah / Talmudic References
- Leviticus 19:18 — 'You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself.'
- Talmud, Yoma 87a — For sins between man and his fellow, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow.
- Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Teshuvah 2:9-10 — It is forbidden to be cruel and refuse forgiveness; when asked sincerely, one should forgive with a whole heart.
Key Teachings
| Teaching | Scripture Reference | Practical Application |
|---|---|---|
| You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. | Leviticus 19:18 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
| For sins between man and his fellow, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow. | Talmud, Yoma 87a | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
| It is forbidden to be cruel and refuse forgiveness; when asked sincerely, one should forgive with a whole heart. | Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Teshuvah 2:9-10 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
What You Should Do
- Name the wound honestly, then decide deliberately to release the debt of punishment — forgiveness is a choice before it is a feeling.
- Remember forgiveness is not reconciliation: you can release someone and still keep wise boundaries.
- Jewish: Before the High Holidays, appease and be appeased (Yoma 87a) — refuse cruelty, forgive with a whole heart.
- All: If the wound is trauma, forgive with professional help — pacing is not disobedience, and counselors are part of the repair.
You Know the Truth. What You Do Next Matters Forever.
The Talmud teaches that teshuvah was created before the world itself — Hashem believed in your return before you were born. The gates of return are open now.
Begin Your Teshuvah — The Gates Are Open →Historical and Cultural Context
All 3 major faith traditions examined here — Christianity, Islam, Judaism — consider Refusing to Forgive Someone sinful, each arriving at this position through independent scriptural and theological analysis. This kind of cross-traditional consensus on a moral question is notable and suggests that Refusing to Forgive Someone touches on a principle shared across the Abrahamic tradition.
From the Judaism perspective, this question is primarily addressed through 3 key torah / talmudic passages: Leviticus 19:18, Talmud, Yoma 87a, and Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Teshuvah 2:9-10. These texts have been studied and debated by scholars across centuries, with interpretations shaped by denominational traditions, historical context, and the evolution of moral philosophy within each faith community.
In the broader historical context, debates around Refusing to Forgive Someone have evolved as societies have modernized. What was once addressed primarily through local religious authority has become a question examined in light of globalized communication, shifting cultural norms, and the individual's relationship to institutional religion. In Judaism, Refusing to Forgive Someone is classified as sin, which carries specific implications for how believers are counselled and how the topic is treated in religious education and community life. Contemporary scholars in Judaism continue to engage with this question, balancing fidelity to torah / talmudic sources with the lived realities of modern believers.
People Also Ask
Must I forgive someone who never apologized?
Judaism's formal obligation attaches to a sincere request, though rabbinic counsel warns against cruelty generally.
Judaism's formal obligation attaches to a sincere request, though rabbinic counsel warns against cruelty generally. All agree: release is for your soul; reconciliation requires both.
Does forgiving mean letting them hurt me again?
No — forgiveness releases the debt of revenge; boundaries manage the risk of repetition; you can forgive the arsonist and still decline to store his matches.
No — forgiveness releases the debt of revenge; boundaries manage the risk of repetition; you can forgive the arsonist and still decline to store his matches. Jewish law builds them in.
What if I can't stop replaying what they did?
Intrusive memory is not unforgiveness — it is an unhealed wound, and the traditions treat healing as part of the journey; therapy helps; ask for it without shame.
Intrusive memory is not unforgiveness — it is an unhealed wound, and the traditions treat healing as part of the journey; therapy helps; ask for it without shame. Jewish practice embeds the memory in liturgy and process.
Related Questions
Related Topics
IsItASin.org provides informational summaries of religious teachings from multiple faith traditions. This is not religious counsel, spiritual direction, or a substitute for guidance from a qualified religious leader in your community. Scriptural interpretations vary by denomination and individual congregation. If you are experiencing moral distress or spiritual crisis, we encourage you to speak with a trusted faith leader, counselor, or chaplain.