Last updated: 2026-08-01
Is Refusing to Forgive Someone a Sin?
Quick Answer
Yes, refusing to forgive someone is considered sin in Christianity.
Author: IsItASin Editorial Team · Last updated: 2026-08-01
Yes, refusing to forgive someone is considered sin in Christianity. Matthew 6:14-15 — 'For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others... neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.' This is a sin matter in Christianity with clear guidance for believers.
What Christianity Teaches About Refusing to Forgive Someone
Christianity considers Refusing to Forgive Someone to be a sin — a subject of guidance in the biblical tradition.
Wondering what other faiths teach?
Christian Denominations: How They Differ on Refusing to Forgive Someone
Catholic Church
Deliberate, sustained refusal to forgive is grave matter when it hardens into hatred; the wounded heart still struggling is judged gently — God's mercy meets the process.
Catechism of the Catholic Church
Protestant Churches
Protestants uniformly teach forgiveness as a condition of the forgiven life; unforgiveness is treated as a root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15).
Holy Bible (Protestant canon)
Eastern Orthodox
Orthodox tradition treats unforgiveness as a passion that blocks prayer and communion; the Jesus Prayer includes 'forgive as we forgive.'
Orthodox Church Tradition
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What Christianity Teaches About Refusing to Forgive Someone
Christianity has bound its whole forgiveness economy to a condition: 'if you forgive others... if you do not.' The Lord's Prayer's most alarming clause (Matthew 6:14-15) is expanded by the parable of the unforgiving servant — a man forgiven an unpayable debt who then chokes a debtor over pennies and is handed to the jailers 'until he should pay all' (Matthew 18:21-35), a sentence no repentance-broker can manipulate. Peter's question — seven times? — receives seventy-seven, which commentators from the Fathers onward read as forgiveness without a ledger. The tradition is careful about what forgiveness is not: it is not pretending the wound did not happen, not automatic reconciliation, not the removal of consequences, and not required before the moment a person can bear it — trauma counselors and pastors agree that God judges the struggling heart gently. But the settled refusal — the nursed grievance, the rehearsed bitterness, the identity of the unforgiving — is classed as sin, and a serious one: Hebrews 12:15 warns that a 'root of bitterness' springs up and defiles many. The Christian's model is not a feeling but a cross: 'Father, forgive them' prayed by the one with the most right not to.
Biblical References
- Matthew 6:14-15 — 'For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others... neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.'
- Matthew 18:21-22 — 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me...? Seventy-seven times.'
- Colossians 3:13 — 'Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.'
- Ephesians 4:32 — 'Be kind to one another... forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.'
Key Teachings
| Teaching | Scripture Reference | Practical Application |
|---|---|---|
| For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others... neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. | Matthew 6:14-15 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
| Lord, how often will my brother sin against me...? Seventy-seven times. | Matthew 18:21-22 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
| Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. | Colossians 3:13 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
| Be kind to one another... forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. | Ephesians 4:32 | Apply this teaching to daily decisions. |
What You Should Do
- Name the wound honestly, then decide deliberately to release the debt of punishment — forgiveness is a choice before it is a feeling.
- Remember forgiveness is not reconciliation: you can release someone and still keep wise boundaries.
- Christian: Pray Matthew 6:12 slowly — 'as we also have forgiven' — and let the unforgiving servant parable warn, not wound.
- All: If the wound is trauma, forgive with professional help — pacing is not disobedience, and counselors are part of the repair.
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Apply Scripture to Your Life →Historical and Cultural Context
All 3 major faith traditions examined here — Christianity, Islam, Judaism — consider Refusing to Forgive Someone sinful, each arriving at this position through independent scriptural and theological analysis. This kind of cross-traditional consensus on a moral question is notable and suggests that Refusing to Forgive Someone touches on a principle shared across the Abrahamic tradition.
From the Christianity perspective, this question is primarily addressed through 3 key biblical passages: Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-22, and Colossians 3:13. These texts have been studied and debated by scholars across centuries, with interpretations shaped by denominational traditions, historical context, and the evolution of moral philosophy within each faith community.
In the broader historical context, debates around Refusing to Forgive Someone have evolved as societies have modernized. What was once addressed primarily through local religious authority has become a question examined in light of globalized communication, shifting cultural norms, and the individual's relationship to institutional religion. In Christianity, Refusing to Forgive Someone is classified as sin, which carries specific implications for how believers are counselled and how the topic is treated in religious education and community life. Contemporary scholars in Christianity continue to engage with this question, balancing fidelity to biblical sources with the lived realities of modern believers.
People Also Ask
Must I forgive someone who never apologized?
Christianity answers yes — the command is not conditional on the offender's repentance (Matthew 6:14; the crucified Jesus forgave unrepentant executioners).
Christianity answers yes — the command is not conditional on the offender's repentance (Matthew 6:14; the crucified Jesus forgave unrepentant executioners). All agree: release is for your soul; reconciliation requires both.
Does forgiving mean letting them hurt me again?
No — forgiveness releases the debt of revenge; boundaries manage the risk of repetition; you can forgive the arsonist and still decline to store his matches.
No — forgiveness releases the debt of revenge; boundaries manage the risk of repetition; you can forgive the arsonist and still decline to store his matches. Prudent boundaries are biblical in Christian thought (Proverbs 22:3).
What if I can't stop replaying what they did?
Intrusive memory is not unforgiveness — it is an unhealed wound, and the traditions treat healing as part of the journey; therapy helps; ask for it without shame.
Intrusive memory is not unforgiveness — it is an unhealed wound, and the traditions treat healing as part of the journey; therapy helps; ask for it without shame. Christianity counsels bringing the loop to prayer each time it plays.
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IsItASin.org provides informational summaries of religious teachings from multiple faith traditions. This is not religious counsel, spiritual direction, or a substitute for guidance from a qualified religious leader in your community. Scriptural interpretations vary by denomination and individual congregation. If you are experiencing moral distress or spiritual crisis, we encourage you to speak with a trusted faith leader, counselor, or chaplain.